two months old

My little Tobias is 2 months old today and honestly that 2 months feels as if its both flown by and gone by slowly. I can't believe my son is already 2 months old but at the same time I feel like he's been in my life longer than that. He is my whole world. I love him to pieces and at 2 months old he already has such an amazing personality and characteristics. He's a happy, smiley baby who loves hearing his mummy sing. Our favourite music to listen to at the moment is "The Greatest Showman" soundtrack. Toby absolutely loves those songs and I have videos of him giving the biggest smiles as we listen and I sing along.
Hes also started reaching for toys, well one toy in particular. A good friend of mine got him this very basic hard plastic elephant that you can clip onto pushchairs etc. and it has a little ball on it that you spin. I clip to the side of his travel cot that he lies in during the day and he absolutely loves it! He is content to just lie there, making noises to the elephant and hitting at the ball while laughing.
The other night he laughed in his sleep. Must've been a really good dream.
Sometimes after he sneezes he makes this little sigh noise, almost as if sneezing was a big relief for him.
He is strong and does not like to lie down or be held right your chest half the time (except when sleepy), he would much rather push and I mean push, with his hands, away from you and look around. He holds his head up like a pro and has been doing that since his first week of life. We had people commenting on how strong he was to be holding his head up so easily for long periods of time. Honestly we think this kid is going to be rolling, then crawling and then walking in no time.
I think he's started to try and suck his thumb. I say try because it's as if he wants to suck his thumb but hasn't quite figured out exactly how to do it properly. His hands and fingers are all over the place and it takes him a good while to find his thumb.
He also sometimes seems to find it funny when I have to clean up his puke. Obviously spitting up his milk doesn't bother him and he already gets enjoyment out of watching me have to clean it up.

I can't wait to see him grow and progress and gain even more of a personality. I love him more than I could ever have dreamed. my beautiful little man.

one month in..

I didn't come into life of motherhood completely oblivious. I'd been around babies before and even changed plenty of nappies. But all that previous knowledge was nothing compared to actually becoming a mother for the first time and having my own baby.
When I first became a mum I learnt that, despite my love for staying up late into all hours of the night, sleep was suddenly the most desirable and mostly unattainable thing. I learnt that babies go through way more clothes than I'd originally thought, between spitting up and pee leaking out the nappy, 6 outfits a day is reasonable. I learnt that even though I had all intentions of going at this head-on with a total positive energy, sometimes you just have to cry and come to the realisation that life's just not that easy but you just keep going.
'Baby Blues' was a phrase I'd heard plenty times before but I like to think of myself as a mainly cheerful person and thought "that won't happen to me, I'll be alright". Wrong. The truth is, I can be a very emotional person at times and that mixed with all the hormones that come with pregnancy and post labour, Baby Blues are inescapable. I did well during the day. Days are easy. If you didn't know, its normal for babies to sleep a lot during the day and be up all night. Nights were when those emotions started to really buildup. When my baby was born I hadn't slept a wink in 24 hours and for the next couple days afterwards I maybe got 8 hours sleep. I couldn't really sleep during the day and mostly I just wanted to cuddle and stare at my beautiful new baby. I had a few, I guess I could call them, minor breakdowns, almost always at night when my baby was unsettled and I was beyond tired, and there were a few times in the week or so after being in the hospital that I thought I might lose it.
I can safely say now that my Baby Blues are long gone. Yes I'm still tired and can get a bit stressed at times but I can deal with it. Truthfully I am the type of person who can actually function on a lack of sleep, so now that my Blues are gone I am able to cope a lot better and also making sure I find time to nap during the day while my son sleeps is always a good idea.
You start to learn things about yourself too, or rather, becoming a mother teaches you so much that you grow more as a person. Becoming a mum is the best thing that I have so far and will ever accomplish in my life and its made me a better person. I can definitely see changes in myself, though I am essentially the same person, just with more responsibility. I am a good mum, people always said I would be and people tell me now, but I know it for myself completely now which is really what matters.
Another thing I've learn't since having my son and being home with him all day is that you can go a little stir crazy. Really I figured this out being in post-natal. We had to stay in the hospital for 4 days following the birth of my son. We wanted to leave earlier but couldn't and spending 4 whole days in that same room and in that same uncomfortable bed, I began to get a little stressed and couldn't wait to get out. The afternoon we were allowed to finally leave was a blessing, I had never been so happy to go outside in my life.
I now make sure that I get out as much as I can. On wednesdays my mum has the day off from work, so we always go out for the day with my baby, out for lunch, a browse around a couple shops or sometimes we just go back to my parents house to hang out for a few hours. Other times, when the weather is good, or not too bad, I take Toby for a walk in his pram. It gets me out of the house and I think he enjoys going for a stroll, most times it puts him to sleep but sometimes he enjoys looking around at the scenery while we walk. If I can't get out, its nice to have someone visit or keep myself busy at home. I even went out to the cinema one evening with my sister which was the first time being away from my son for any amount of time. I can honestly say that it was great to go to the cinemas but I really did miss my son and couldn't wait to get back to him.
Its been over one month now and I'm learning new things about babies and motherhood everyday. We're doing good, we're happy and enjoying our new life. Being a first time mum can be a struggle but this little human is worth any struggle every time. This baby boy is my world and our lives are now more complete with him in it.